hammeroftruth

So as was writing that last blog entry, a thought came to my mind.  When the Palin Presidency happens, what will it look like?  Who will fill all the major roles?  Well, I’ve thought about who those people will be.  Now it is a little brief, but here is what I think:

President:  Of course, this one is obvious.  Governor Sarah Palin!  Of course we already know how successful this will be for the country.  One area that I would like to also point out would receive a boost would be the film industry.  How can Disney resist a movie about the hockey mom who became the most successful President in the United States?  I know I wouldn’t be able to.  Although I don’t approve of this, I hear the adult film industry is going to get a boost as well.  Apparently they are looking for look-alikes right now.  So guys, if you think you look like Sarah Palin at all, and would be interested in pornography, you can send me your pictures and I will send them on to the studios.  Anyways, moving on.

Vice President:  Okay, there is going to be a lot of debate over who should be the Vice President, and there are a lot of candidates.  Now I know there are a lot of people with excellent qualifications out there, but we need a fresh political face.  Bill O’Reilly!  We need this administration to be hard hitting and independent, who better than Bill O’Reilly?  Some one who is not afraid to ask the tough questions, but also who is not tainted by any political ties.

Secretary of State:  So by 2012, I figure we have taken care of the Middle East.  So that’s done.  Whew!  Now that we have gotten rid of all Islamic terrorism, I believe we need to focus on South America.  We need someone who has experience dealing with South America, especially your every day, common man in South America.  We need to get inside their minds.  What we need, is me.  Now I know this is a long shot, but hey, a man can dream right?  Hear me out, I have the foreign policy experience I need.  I spent a good amount of time in El Salvador, studying the local people there.  With that amount of time through the process of diffusion, and the osmotic nature of knowledge, I was able to gain valuable secrets about Hugo Chavez and other dangerous South American leaders.  So while it is a long shot, I know I would be perfect for such a role.

Secretary of Defense:  Here we need someone who is not afraid to use our vast military arsenal.  I suggest Representative Tom Tancredo of Colorado.  I know he tried to run for President this past year and did not succeed, however I think he would make a great Secretary of Defense.  I saw him in some of his primary debates, and I really liked his military strategy.  We need someone who is not afraid to bomb Muslim holy sites.  We need to have deterrents like that used in the global war on terror.  Of course, we don’t actually have any more Islamic terrorists by this time, but I am certain that he will be able to be creative against the fight against South America.

Secretary of Education/Religion:  The Palin Presidency will change this role to include religious education.  Our country is in desperate need of a spiritual leader who can guide the nation through any tough times.  I suggest none other than Dr. Dino, aka Kent Hovind.  Now, he may be in prison right now for tax evasion, but honestly, he didn’t really do anything wrong.  Let Kent go!  We need a man who can speak the truth, and educate our kids right.  And if you guys are unfamiliar with Kent, please look him up.  He is a dear friend of mine and a very intelligent man.  I assume that he will be pardoned by 2012, so it should be all good.

Secretary of the Treasury:  I noticed that we have no black or Hispanic people on the cabinet, so I just looked up “Possible Republican Vice Presidential Candidates” and I the first black guy was Michael Steele, former Lieutenant Governor of Maryland apparently.  Well, I’m sure he’ll be great as Secretary of the Treasury.

Alright, there you have it.  A solid core of people for the new Palin administration!

Trackback URI | Comments RSS