hammeroftruth

(Dr. Balzania, taken from the NY Times (sorry guys for the poor quality, it was all I had), circa 1989)

I recently sat down with Dr. Harrison Balzania, of the Bratislava School of Law.  For those of you who don’t know where that is, it is in Slovakia.  (Look it up guys, the Hammer is going international here!)  Dr. Balzania was actually my old roommate from my freshman semester at the University of Phoenix.  Of course as you more regular readers know, I dropped out by the spring semester and went through a whole set of tough experiences that have led me here today.  However, I was able to keep up some level of correspondence with Harry, who now teaches in his native town of Bratislava, at the fairly new school of law there.  Only a week ago I heard that Harry was coming to town, so I knew that this would be the perfect opportunity to catch up with an old friend and talk some politics.  I contacted him and asked if we could do a little interview for my blog, and he agreed.  I am writing this interview exactly as it happened, just to show you how horribly wrong he was.  I did not realize how ignorant he had become since I had last seen him.  I was hoping for something intelligent.  I apologize to my readers in advance.

Hammer:  Harry!  How have you been?  Its been a long time.

Dr. Balzania:  Yes, too long.  I’ve been excellent.  The school could not be going better.  Slovakia’s education system has come a long way.  What about you?  I’ve heard rumors of what happened after you dropped out.  I’ve heard you went to Colombia?

H:  No, no, it was El Salvador.

B:  What were you doing in El Salvador?  I’ve heard some things…

H:  Umm, I think that’s enough about me, let’s talk politics.  The readers don’t want to hear about me.

B:  But what happened in El…?

H:  No, no, the readers don’t want it.  I’ll tell you some other time perhaps.  So the debate, did you watch?

B:  Fine then, we’ll move on.  Yes, I thought that it was a strong showing for Senator Biden.  Governor Palin was not quite the disaster that many predicted, but Senator Biden was the clear winner.

H:  You and I must not have watched the same debate!  Governor Palin dominated the debate.  Did you see her jokes?   You must not have seen her jokes.  They were very funny, all Biden could do was smile.  He knew he lost, I knew he lost, the people knew he lost.  Why do you disagree with all of those people?

B:  I guess we didn’t watch the same debate.  I guess you were too busy watching Governor Palin’s “jokes” that you missed out on the fact that she dodged numerous questions.  Of course, you expect that from politicians to some degree, but not like that.  Really you could say that Senator Biden won by default for just answering the questions.

H:  No, no, you are forgetting that she is the new maverick.

B:  What?

H:  She is a maverick.  She doesn’t need to answer questions.

B:  Well I don’t care if she is the maverick.  If she is going to have the second most powerful position in the United States government, and very possibly the most powerful, I want to hear her positions on issues.  I don’t want to hear that she and John McCain are mavericks.  I want some concrete proof.  Clearly, they have not done that.  And she said that the office of the Vice President should definitely be considered a part of both the legislative and executive branch.  From the sounds of it, we’ve got another Dick Cheney on our hands, but not nearly as deceptive, or as smart.  And maybe that’s worse.

H:  Once again, maverick.

B:  But what about…

H:  Maverick

B:  You have to cons…

H:  Maverick!

B:  This is goi…

H:  M-A-V-E-R-I-C-K

(At this point in the interview, Dr. Balzania got up and left the room.  There was a little more banter after that, but clearly you can see that it was not a very productive interview towards the end.  But I guess you can’t do anything about someone who doesn’t understand the concept of mavericks.  Too bad for that law school.  Once again, another victory for the Hammer!)

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