hammeroftruth

WHY!!!!??? WHY!!!!???? WHY???!!!!

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!????? c fccvcczxczxxzkv,x,

(sorry about that last part, I just started pounding my keyboard.  I decided to keep it in just so you get an idea of what is happening here)

Okay, so you are probably wondering what is going on.  Well, as I said yesterday, I found out I had a son.  He contacted me last night.  That is why I am so upset.  I met my son.  My son named River ! Moonflower.  Yes, that is his legal name.  I think you may start to see why I am disappointed.  I was so excited when I heard the news, but as soon as he introduced himself to me online, I was crushed.  I didn’t talk to him for too long.  I couldn’t take it.  But here are some things I learned about him.

So naturally I was quite put off by his name, but we talked a little about his mother and his childhood.  After I left, she moved to California (shudder) and raised little River, who I will now call Jack, there.  Jack said that he had a pretty normal childhood.  But who knows what normal is for him, because he did not turn out right.  Jack told me that at the age of 18, he left California to travel Europe, where he has been ever since, living as some Eurotrash in a hostel.  At that point, I stopped the conversation.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  So here is what probably happened in his life:

Jack smoked a lot of pot in high school, and decided that he was going to start playing crappy light acoustic folk rock.